Saturday, January 29, 2011

Workout madness, yoga and other human follies!

As a dog, I am sometimes underestimated for what I know and understand. Humans assume that I am not observant but this is not the case.

Every day Karine is engaged in what she calls a workout. She gets on a bike trainer and I hear the whir of the wheel and her groans for over an hour. Then she crawls out of the basement and rests before making a shake for breakfast. Sometimes she does yoga. I watch her do down dog! As a dog, trust me, we don't do silly things like that. As for updog, well that kind of stretch is only reserved before bed.

I have tried to understand this exercise thing and have concluded it is part of a much larger malaise with the human race that can easily be corrected.

The first is nutrition. We dogs have got that down to a science, we eat what is put before us and beg for treats. We never serve ourselves treats and we eat balanced meals. I see humans always getting between their meals! I have heard them actually complain about their meals. We dogs take meals very seriously and although we are sometimes accused of eating too quickly, trust me we smell when our meals are prepared and enjoy every meal. So for you food challenged humans, have someone feed you, like we do.

The second is exercise. We dogs relax, and let our muscles stretch. We do a lot of doga but don't make a big deal about it or wear special clothing. When we are out, we don't waste time, we run, we play then we sleep again, a little more doga and more sleep. Humans appear to spend hours sitting, looking into a screen. They only move their fingers! Then they panic and run like hamsters to the gym or on their bike trainers. We dogs simply make exercise a part of our lives! We are taken out for walks and use that time. So for you exercise challenged humans, have someone take you out for walks and make exercise a part of your life.

The other big problem we dogs notice about humans is that you will often complain of being lonely. Not a wonder, if you look at a screen all day. When we go out for walks have you noticed how WE say hello to every dog we see? We always sniff and snort and make them feel welcome. I have noticed that many times you don't always greet all the people you see. We dogs consider that socially unacceptable.

You humans pretend that you like to live alone. Dogs know better. We are pack animals and happiness is sleeping in your den surrounded by your pack. We don't run from our pack, or pretend we are busy. We relish our families, our brothers and our sisters even though they sometimes steal our treats. We know they belong. How many times have I watched the news when a human has never felt they belong and that they have been rejected. How tragic it must be not to have a pack.

So next time you see me on my leash walking with Karine and my sister Sophie...remember that you can learn a lot from me and your own dogs!


Sunday, January 23, 2011

Dogs and workouts

I am now fully engaged in an extensive workout program with my bike trainer and weights. A short workout is over an hour and sometimes closer to 2 hours.

My dogs do not get the concept of a workout. A dog's life is so much simpler, eat, sleep, pee and play. When I put on my gear and carry my water bottle downstairs my dog Bubba looks at me as if I have lost my mind. Today he whined and carried on as if he needed to go out immediately. I cut short my workout and he gave me a triumphant smile as I mounted the basement steps. "Yes I did it!" you could hear him say as he skipped to his favourite chair.

To be fair to Bubba, he has not been feeling well lately and therefore I am very attentive of him. The look on his face was priceless.

Folks, if you are doing heavy workouts at home, don't listen to what your dogs say, they are laughing at you!

Wednesday, January 5, 2011

Feeding time and Bubba

Many humans believe that all we dogs do is eat and sleep and are obsessed about food. This image has been dominant in TV cartoons with Snoopy and in most movies where dogs are featured.

I admit, that my partner Sophie is obsessed with food and plays into the stereotypical dog image but let me tell you how it really is.

We have a boarding dog at the moment and when he and Sophie are eating I simply abstain. They have atrocious table manners. In order for me to eat, I require an appetizer, this stimulates my appetite and when the dogs have finished, I consider it a good time for me to eat, after an amuse bouche!

Next time you see a dog slaver for food or treats, or worse lower themselves to do tricks for food, remember, not all dogs are created equal!